How to choose a wife
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Series 1326
1. Be sure you get a woman. (See awful examples in Daily Press) 2. Be careful to get a girl with two eyes, two ears, two arems, and two legs - not wooden ones. 3. See that she has one nose, one mouth, one tongue (a short one), one fringe, and one only. 4. Get a girl who can cook like mother. (L1000 for the first one brought to this shop deal or alive). 5. Remember, that though beauty is only skin deep, it is the only skin you can see. 6. Remember, she must be healthy, kind, gentle, loving, neat, tidy, clever, affectionate, sensible, loyal, truthful, trustworthy, happy, sober, pleasing, virtuous, unassuming, contented, cheerful, pretty, graceful, reliable, strong, and tender. A good house-wife, also a good cook, and even then your mother won't think she's good enough for you |
